What happen???

wat happen to me? this few days i very blur..suddenly everything happen together....blur.....the important thing is....i very very hate my attitude....lazy....treat friend very good.....treat gf badly....think too much....all these attitude i also hate...but y all attitude happen to me??i don wan this happen...u very very good....can bear my attitude so long...really really good jor....i change a lot a lot....i am getting bad ...how....???how to change back myself??i really don noe wat i am doing now.....a good good gf infront of me, y i treat her badly..???y???i noe that is my problem....but y?? is that my attitude???or wat???how???i wan cry now......!!!i wan to put all thing away....but!!!...feel that hurt her so much......should i ???i think she can get a better life.....is that good????i don noe....!!!!i know i wrong...i also noe u already try ur best ......y i still treat u bad bad badly???the thing is getting serious....dear dear....i don noe wat to do....!!! i noe the main problem is come out from me.....all my wrong....but....i don wan to see ur so san fu...i don wan u to treat me so good.....i don wan i don wan....but...u will very very very very hurt...really.....i don wan u get hurt....sorry dear dear...i treat u bad bad bad.....i see u....i juz can think that u treat me good...and i treat u badly....how long the matter still can continue????u still can bear it???i can change???give me comment plz....plz... and plz....i already very very hate myself jor...how??
how to finish it and don make u hurt???i see u so san fu...i also very san fu.....i noe wat u ask me to do be4.....ask me change....but...don noe y...i cant cant cant change...that is automatic happen....how???....u wan finish it???don noe y....i wanna give up jor....very very sad now.....not u wrong....u really very very good...is my wrong....i am not a good bf......finish it or don wan finish it....u decide???or how????sad sad and sad......my tear is coming out from my eye....hehe....is the decision better for us??or that is not a good decision???i really don noe...i don dare to make this decision...i don wan u get hurt ar.....!!!!!!!!!!!how...!??????

hehe

Dear......u really treat me so good......i can feel it...all wat u did...i also can see it.......i always say that...i treat u not good enough......becoz u treat me more good than i treat u....so that i always said that.......dear...don think that u not good enough......u are my good dear dear.....i very happy that i can together with u.....very very good........ all u did behind me...or infront...i also noe....hehe.....